Saturday, July 28, 2007
wow yesterday would be quite unforgettable :) my frens rock

was still torn between goin for og outing and KE night cycling but i tht i would just go out with min for icecream first. ha to think she knew abt the whole thing as well. man they did sucha good job in hiding.. went to chomps to meet hte og.. and they still kept very mum abt it.. bht me a small cake and said they oni knew it last min that it was my bday haha
later we went to chris hse as planned and wow.. the whole gang of medics was there.... all the hall ppl, even the m3s came back aloy, glen jian li and many more were there.. and they did a splash nick.haha splash thammy again. he gets it all the time haha its a common fixture alr.

wow they said they were waitin at thammy;s hse for a long itme.. the place was deco and everything.. really a pleasant surprise. still in so much happiness that my eng sounds like SHe who need not be name. yeah thank you so much irene, thams, eunice, rongs, siew, siva, stephen, thomas, min, yohanes, hulz, ningyan, dom, en ming, aloy, glen, glenn, amir, audrey, josh, ying liang and for everyone who show up and for their well wishes and presents cel, nat, cheryl,kums,

yeah what would i do without u guys man. i m a really blessed guy to have frens like u guys. haha i must have done sth right. kk

haha and for the many wishes that fill up my facebk wall and hp inbox..haha thank you..
and for the long distance call from yeowmay thanks girl..

haha and to xunqi ahha.. so sweet played the er hu for me.. lol.. tahnks dude.

kk i want photos ;)
haha i met a lot alotof ppl at chomps.
sheryl.. haha we met after all.. b4 she return to the states.. met alvin, aaron, lihui haha tsk..lihui ah haha a few mths back b4 she was attached she said she wun mind soendin my bday with me and hq.. haha then yest she just swung her bf;s hands past me lol..so happily. haha happy for her anw

yeah thanks everyone for rememberin really means alot to me. :)
I failed. 3:23 AM
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Thursday, July 26, 2007
i watched the prestige online at last. think ten mins or more of it was missin online.. had a streaming problem but nevertheless it was quite a cool movie. its the feel of it that u will like. loccal or even asian movies will never get ther somehow.. i dunno why. its like second nature for the europeans/americans to produce such gd fims.. why? where is that missin ingredient? passion? budget? talent? ah well.. but yeah u kinda learn aloto from that movie. abt the human psyche how we eprceive the world and why magic gets us plainly becos of our need to be captivated or enthralled fr that split second b4 we return to our cold miserable lives. the prestige refers to magic that goes right. for there are three parts to every magic show. and hte last part which is returnin to the origin is known as the prestige. but nevertheless what the show truly is abt is..obsession.
the amt of sacrifiace man can put in to perfect something. and how obsession always hurts.

anw i slept the whle day cos the weather was perfect. and i was tired to go out. flusih too. i began my hairy alr. but i m not hooked yet.

bleagh i ws at katong the otehr day and i saw many of those internet shops. so old sch. like the ones u see in the golden triangle. with hand written signs of how much per hr. fans blowin at rows of computers.. its for backpackers! haha yeah its werid seeing backpackers in ur own country after u ve been backpackin somehow. esp to see all the caucassians. (shouldnt call ppl by race. we are all from africa) anyhow quite cool.there were actuali many internet shops in katong. shophses kind. haha reminiscence indeed. do u thk ppl will thk i m mad if i carry a backpack and walk orchard. like a 50 l one..ok i ll pass on that tht.. some wise guy said 99 percent of human beings are alike..ie. genetic makeup.. but wad ever ..its the one percent that interests all of us no?

i thk i didnt log out properly at one of the internet cafes anyway. i keep gettin signed out these days. or worse appear online.. for no reason..what if ppl hack into my email acct and find my stash of haha wad? microbe notes? ok nah haha

and i m so pass naughty nineteen.
I failed. 4:49 AM
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Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Come back and haunt me, follow me home
Give me a motive, swallow me whole
They say I've lost it
What could I know when I'm but a mockery?
I'm so alone

Sooner or later
You'll find out there's a hole in the wall
Sooner or later
You'll find out there's a hole in the wall

Today is ours, condemned to be free
Free to keep breathing, free to believe
I look to find You, down on my knees
Oh, God, I believe, please help me believe

Sooner or later
They'll find out there's a hole in the wall
Sooner or later
You'll find out that you'll dream to be that small

I'm a believer, help me believe
I'm a believer, help me believe

I gave it all away and I lost who I am
I threw it all away with everything to gain
And I'm taking the leap with dreams of shrinking
Dreams of shrinking, dreams of shrinking
Dreams of shrinking

Come back and haunt me, follow me home
Give me a motive, swallow me whole

Sooner or later
Sooner or later
Sooner or later

falling sick.
i m strangely attracted to this song.
went back to sch today.. qutie fun. if oni sch was this fun haha.
well come back and haunt me.

took bus 12 yest.. met jeremy.. well yah its been a yr. a yr ago he helped me alot..
haha he asked me if i was with this girl.. bleagh i wanted to say nope..she is not on the bus or in my shoebag..ha but that wouldnt be funny.

but not bad yest i was treated to katong laksa as m y first bday treat.. hahait was nice. sigh thomas said i looked like i lost weight..i really hate that..,i dun thk so u know..hais but well..maybe cos i havent been exercisin as much.

but i m not like that wad. i hate the whole pairin u up with so and so game.its not even a game. it alway hurts and make ppl shy away from one another when they go wrong. of cos in jeremy;s case he is askin cos he is relaly concerned..cos he really cares abt me.. he is one of few ppl im grateful for.

haha jus that i dun want the impression of u know bein a cassanova playboy or ath of that sort. cos i m really not. yahs. if it means being a hermit and keepin all to myself. i m doin it alr no?

today was not bad..went swimmin a bit.. then did rag.. and played bball folowed by dinenr.. had the space to thk abt alotof things..i like.

oe thing i learn in life is to never keep my hopes too high abt ath at all.
I failed. 8:23 AM
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Tuesday, July 24, 2007
raffles medical grp gave 5 bucks. wah lau might as well not give. by givin 5 bucks. u re makina statement to show how unwillin u re. attitude. i thk the best response is to give a tax expemption receipt.

my og rmbs xr for her air time and aunty stories.. and borrowin our dish liquid.
aunty rongs sia.

navigated the whole of east coast area to look for ice cream chef.. haha foun dit oni at long last.
I failed. 9:00 AM
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Monday, July 23, 2007
got myself a councilee yest mornin. was a pleasant surprise. gee it seems so real now. like wow i m yr 2 alr. gonna oass my notes on and stuff. kinda anticipating but at the same time apprehensive..as in abt yr 2.
haha so not no body wants me. haha she is my vj junior. she has a cool name cos her dad is jap. and she is gonna stay in hall.


anws grr oh no i feel bad. i thk i caused my cuncilor alotof embarassment. becosof some idiots. sigh.

yest money raisin for ke flag day was not too bad. but i guess ppl in the east are less generous? or rather docs.. as in most gps donated to our preflag campaign but yeah they gave rather small amt. but hey its better than nth. i kinda enjoyed walkin ard. but nah i need me time today. so here i m sittin in my room.

i feel accomplisehed its amazing how therapeutic doin things like sortin out ur cam phn photos, sorting out iur itunes music can feel..not to m ention i actuali do need to sort out my yr one notes now. argh. haha and ther is hairy potty to read and drivin test to mug. and pre textbook readin.. its kinda fun to read a bit b4 hand read.. not MUG.. haha but ok i havent done all that.

hmm i could slp the day away. it feels damn chilly to run.but its prob y lousy excuse. ok

thk i ll find someone to play pool.
I failed. 10:49 PM
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Sunday, July 22, 2007
its not right not ok.
quite early but i had my second bday dinner tonight. haha
my mum did her emo talk thingy today agn.
all the talk abt how her mum, my grandma oni lived to 49 and she yeah is turnin 49 next yr.
she told me she feel like hte end is near,. her health like cannot make it alr. it is truly talk i wanna aovid. i know rthere is not much i can say, she will refuse help refuse med treatment. we are not so differnt. we rather take a bit of suffering and believe its for the best. maybe deep down we have a sick notion that good ppl are meant to suffer.

but maybe we are not wrong.
i m proud of my bro. i did this. its prb the best thing i have done. i brt him to church. and now he is so much more fervent than me. sayin grace. prayin religiously readin up so much scriptures.. tellin me abt how he was touched and all that..
and look at me. ha i m lost once agn. yeah i feel good cos i know he needs it he needs to believe that there is hope and all that.

but sadly i m losing it really fast. i dunno. my mum told me today that u know the usual stuff shei s really proud of me. proud to have such an intelligent good boy. told me everyon eelse in the fam is like perhaps below me. (shrugs) she says she noticed that i m not happy somehow.

(i help her do all her math and even the recent ones dunno her students testin her or wad..keep givin iq qns.. i kinda like to solve them tho no complains. )

but yeah she said she knows everything. abt how unhappy i feel. i told her not to be so negative. she said i m the oni reason she lives for. i tht the same actauli. she is kinda the oni reason i live for too. i know i have let her down so many times. she said i must never say that..becos when she is gone she wants me to be well to be a gd doc. to be happy to do wad i like, travel be free, be there for others. . she believes in me

and the gravity of those words.
i believe my mum is lonely. i believe more than 80 percent of the world is cold. but there is still that 20 percent of cos. maybe 15 percent out of that twenty is beyond my reach. existing in a rich world which form ideals that oni they can acclaim to.
we didnt manage to sit tgt on the train. thru the glass plane i saw a sad beguiling face. its haunting but its my mum's. its the woman who has (one and oni) who has stood by me the last twenty yrs. sometimes i hate it. sometimes we dun make the best decisions in life. we cant see beyond our fog lines, but i can now. more than ever.

n she oni smiles when she meets my eyes. liek she has found gold. what if i screw up? what if i dun make it. i m scared. stiff.
those are thts to be crush. u have to smile back. and it comes naturally. a motion u will ease into. who doesnt smile when he sees his mum. right? bleeding heart is sucha romantic notion. yr 2 med student defn knows the heart is bleeding allthe time.
but yes we are all bleedin arent we.

i ll live happily for you i promise. be happier mum. it affects me when u re not. when u dun wanna go see the doc. when u dun want salvation why should i want it anymore. when u want to suffer alone i cant let u be that heroine. not by urself. after all i m the smarterone no? i m the last person to be called a saint in this world but i oni need to be urs.

i feel solemn and solemnnot = depressed.


anw tml
if i m dressed like a million bucks do u thk we will still get money?
sigh i m sad. i think i have shrunk..my clothes feel too big for me. this is bad. really and i tht i was drowning in my lipid pool.
I failed. 7:28 AM
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Saturday, July 21, 2007
feel like im drugged. so sleepy and lerthargic. wanted to train today but the will was not there

i m bored. i dun really have tuition next week. suddenly i wanna be involved in hall stuff orientation.
ok i should study my advance theory too and maybe my textbooks haha but nah no motivation.

i thk i m too negative. always doubting and worryin b4 ath. i can be full of critique too. i kinda miss hall now. after spendin one night in hall. the smell, the stairs climbing, the peace.. suddenly i yearn for it. beng left alone. yeah back to loner me. but its not all bad.

so maybe actuali my life aint so bad. its just my mind. maybe medicamp wasnt that bad. maybe i houldnt be so glad that its over. i kinda miss odakota alr..but yeah the company was fun la.. irene siva thammy ying josh geri and jocelyn and wy. it was a hard combi to beat.
see i feel like hopin gon another orientation band wagon now.. yeah and the yr ones yohannes nigel hulin clarence melvin jeevan nat haha they were a jolly fun bunch

so how should i go night cyclin on 27th?
i really have a very bleak outlook of life. so much so that i feel like u know the 27th is a waste of time. but it htk that will just break the hearts of ppl who actuali do care. and lvoe me. like i was tellin my mum that nah there is no need to celebrate its just another day. sigh 20 yrs.. cant believe its been so long and draggy this life.

but i m still impressed i mean i actuali know the names of all the ppl in my og is sucha short while. its a rare thing for me..normally i wouldnt care.

igot new trunks for my bday ha. the old one is well really koyak. with new shoes and new trunks,,its a lot of pressure u know,. means must swim and run faster.. haha thats what josh told liang when he got his bi one piece suit..zai looking.

i havent ran for 5 days la. feel like my fats are gonna drown me. so gross.

my dad bought a car. wow. of cos we were agst it. but i know it was his dream. not havin a car was like.. it made him feel lowly and miserable all these yrs. i guess i can werk abit harder and it shouldnt be too hard.
I failed. 7:59 AM
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Friday, July 20, 2007
and it was a way to end.
i worry how life would turn out to be. with so few ppl to trust. with so many dissaspointments screw ups
with so much fatigue. so little o gain. everything to lose.

with really little real comic relief.

so how long can one humour himself. when this life. yeah this life goes no where.

a constant battle between being mr nice guy and being human. it IS that hard. i drew a line for you and it was all yellow.

u re skin oh yeah u re skin and bones. turn in.. to something beautiful.

is it just me? cos the way i see it everyone i havent know. have perfect lives. everyone i do know. lets say it isnt so. how the hell were we designed. it must ve been hell.

we dun live in wikipedia. u cant look up any and every detail u want to. but if u could. u will be miserable. and lets just say that i have that kinda access sometimes..it makes ur heart bleed. when u know more than u should

i never meant to cause u trouble
medicamp was, not. a blast. i was wrong abt my hypothesis.
there were just too many boo boos. sometimes.. when ppl try their best but they dun get there. u forgive them take heart.
u may get slightly angry but its ok. take a step back and we can all understand.

but that can be too much on the understander as well.

but other times. it was clearly not a matter of understanding. it got dirty. esp when it came to the shift on 4 key.
there are chracters who tried and when they fail ur heart goes out to them. but there are some who were plain plain sigh.

but i enjoyed the company in medicamp very much. and i m grateful.my og was really filled with nice ppl. once agn i hate using the word nice so much that it has no more meaning.

my ogls were very understanding alr. so were the freshies. the gys esp were hell of a grp of fun ppl. my kind of ppl. and the girls were well lets just say girls dun usually give problem if they are in grps and u dunno them yet.. and one in particular was really sweet.

some ppl get away with everything. no matter wad they do. either they cant be bother with social construct or they live in their own world. ok its actualthe same point ssame same but different. different becos some ppl know what they do they kow its different.. wrong and disgusting but becos they can get away with it or they wanna make a statement or they dun give a shit or they are still needed wadeva reasons they get away. others well they just dunno they dun belong. that they are out of line or place.

i can t help but feel like i m drowning in sewage. everytime i struggle to the top to get a wisp of air and i forced all the way back down.

i wanna live in a wooden house.
I failed. 12:52 AM
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Friday, July 13, 2007
and it flooded. sigh kitchen flooded two days ago and it was all my fault. my mum woke me up to watch the clothes but yeah i fell back aslp.. for less tahn an hr really and it poured so heavily.. crap the entire kitchen flooded when i got up, bamboo holes were soaked, clothes that were dry was drippin wet. quite a mess. hais
so i had to well cover up sorta. i mopped the floor.. brt 5 big fans in to dry the kitchen and spinned dry everything problem was argh there was dirty laundry in the machine and i mixed them up.. iw as tryin to figure out how everything fitted back onto the bamboos u know lik elimiting factor.. argh.. so i made amess.

mum called at pizza hut later that night..ha juniors must thk i was mad.. i was being really frenly and u know hte whn nick is jovial mood and later on..haha total 180deg change in mood..and plus i rushed home after the harry potter movie.. bleagh couldnt stay on to hang out. ah well i rushed home to face the music.

yeah it was hell when i got home.. i mean she was alr screamin on the phn as i walked towards the cinema.. with thtat said i actuali still enjoy the movie..harry potter is quite nce this time.. yeah i tht the last show was pretty bad. crap and now i need to thk of a way to read the latest book. the book has out long time ago..haha to quote xin-glish. (xin rong's english when she said the book is going to out excitedly)

i gues sppl get angry some mistakes are hard to forgive i once like to believe that love conquers all and all that ..total bollocks really. sometimes i tht he things my mum scold is like she doesnt give a damn abt hte whole world..well frankly who gives a damn life is tiring in its own ways. u knowthe chn word jue..(carap been feelin cheena) but yeah sometimes really scold until very jue. hais

and it makes u wonder wad is the meaning of life serious. when u make a mistake u get ur head chewed off..even by the ppl closest to u. its like u live each day..drag ur feet thru life..and hopefully if god is kind u die early bcos frankly.. i m not sayin this in a depressed kinda way i m so totally mature abt life to be depressed alr. frankly life sucks and there is no meaning to it. sure i wanna be anicce guy care for ppl..do no evil and all that but as far as celebrating life is concern.. i dun see the purpose.. esp if u can get so mad and angry at someone.. really i dun ask for much. everything i have ever done is to make someone else happy. (well in a way) everything i ve ever done has given me alot of power and respectthat i shant deny. yeah ppl do look up to me. i cant say i dun like wad i do. i like being a med student. i like being gd at wad i m good at. but life still sucks. its not cos of the manny responsibilities its cos ppl. ppl are always the source of problem of course on egd argue..

1) some ppl dun get angry at all.. (i get angry very easily but i never show it really i choose to just ok fine i forgive u and well i kill myself inside , u know the whole passive response thingy)
2) well some ppl need to vent and in the proces sthey say all sorts of things. even when they dunmean it. but after some words are said realy the amt of damage done can never be repaired.. things like " ur e so hopless, i can never(never? haha seriously laugh ) rely on u." things like " i wonder what u live for.. givin birth to an animal is better than having given birth to u?" really? seriously i mean everyone gets pissed but i thk the way u scold ppl? its not as if u never made mistakes u never let ppl down.. if u really love ur kids i thk u can never havethe heart to socl d thing sliddat,, ok maybe its cos i m not werkin yet? i dunno stress.. but to tellu the truth i thk i m under more stress than anyone else when werk starts.. i study and werk..adn abalance amillion more htings.. its in the genes ok. and even when ppl make me very upset i wil rather swallow my anger. i guess that makes me a loser. and that makes me hate life more tahn ath else but still.. screw it.

and that there is always the point abt not comn from a well off family. if ur fam waas rich.. you wil 1) have a maid 2) parents dun ve to be stressed out 3) ppl are generaly well off happier have fatter kids (more demanding really) 4) lack of religion..screw it thats highly debatable. yeah so we are all middle class lsaves tryin hard to make ends meet and in the process we carry a knife and stab at each other once in awhile..not cos we want to stab really..cos we have to carry the knife..and to put it in a lame way cos of maybe erm space constraint so go on..i accidentally stab u..i m sorry...

sorry doesnt werk all the time. i dunno how to live if i were my ounger bro.

i wonder wad life will be like if i was a sch drop out..(ok maybe not if i were a sch drppout i wouldnt give a damn abt my fam)
or at least not in this way,. if i were like my bro.. ok really average..(dun ask my frens wad is average..its a whole different dimension.. my frens are not average.. i m talkin abt maybe ppl who go poly? or like just normal..not outstanding.. (then agn i m not outstanding la) u get my drift.. where does life end how does life go on? who do u become? u wake up in the mornin.. authority after authority yell at u from all 4 directions. and u live ur life on autopilot..maybe singaporeans like it that way.slog day after day and die. just die. so u grow up gro wings flyaway start another family and repeat the same whole bloody cycle.. pardon me if i m bein narrow.. i mean i do noe of happy family..where ppl rarely shout where they are all welloff..kids do well.. dad does well..everything is smothsailing..

of course there is the other extreme of poverty or broken homes or juvenile deliquents.. but today i m just alkin abt normal ppl..but hte line away from nolmacy is thneer than u can imagine.everything leads to something else. ppl are tiring.

if i have kids i dun wana scold them. maybe i m just sayin gnow. i thk i ll never have kids. even if i scold them i ll choose words that actuali mean sth. not hurting lang. with absolutely empty content. iknow i m loved. i dun doubt that one bit. it still sucks anw. iwanna get out of here. i feel so trapped. so empty.

and then i met the twins again today at kr hall.. nus is quite a buzz of activity..with multiple camps going on..
the twins are a tad irritating. ok they are nice ppl.. these days we say veryon eis nice till ssayin that itself has abzolutely no meaning.

ok the first one of them ask"nick u started smoking?" erm no.. ur lips are so dark..iwent swimminand i havent hydrated my lips get that way.. oh is dingwen smokin? huh? eh no i dun thk so. so weird.. then the next one ask"so nick who was that girl..that time.." sheesh id unno wad time when? huh? eh just a fren? so nick u are seriously not with anyone now? like anyone? anyone likes u? gdness they were talkin so loudly it was embarassing..

eh u know wad i ll talk to u guys agn.. bye. andi escaped..

its amazing how so many ppl care when really they dont.

ok maybe they do .. but i dont. i dont want them to at least not when it comes to this kinda things la.
i dnno how to get attach. frankly my family turns me off. life turns me off. i dunno if there is anymore hope. but there is la i m sure. may ppl are sstill doing it. imean living life. maybe i really am immature. or too mature for my own good.

i m pessimistic.

and u cant blame e. it seems like nth i m involced with goes right..like the saying.. u know u re not a bad person.. its just hat bad things keep happening to u?.. i thk it waas harry potter.





and shit did happen la.. i dun wanna talk abt it. but it has sth to do with green t shirts. differnt green.
sigh
I failed. 5:07 AM
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Monday, July 9, 2007
wow i havent facebooked so much. its really late and i gootaget up early tomolo but currently yi dian shui yi dou mei you.
no hint of tireness.. haha

yay uploaded alot of picts. haha
and learnt how to do so fast.. haha macsrock.. can actuali dl a software for fast upload onto fb. ahha

right and i went running just now. prob will ache like hell tml. just now as in 11pm.. haha
damn shiok la.. havent ran that kinda distance for a long time. yeah

ok
I failed. 12:13 PM
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Sunday, July 8, 2007
its been a yr. i m turning twenty but i have been reminded that its been a yr cos
1) my bro is going for encounter camp
2) wow he has a fren..or rather his colleague kena pneumothorax
kena lungs got hole ok its actuali the pleural

yeah a yr ago. i was at encounter camp. smae time. a yr ago edgar my gd fren kena pneumothorax.. ha
ok its not ha as in funny ha.. but in a way time as a funny way of repeatin itself. it catches u off guard.. history and then u rmb.oh crap is another cycle. and for now . i ll say twenty yr long cycle.

i like staying at home really. but it hk i may just want to stay inhall for all 5 yrs now. thsi may sound relaly selfish and self centered but maybe ppl like me want nth more than peace and solitute. today was quite a war zone at home. its not that i dun wanna care..but its draining. maybe ppl like me ar supposed to live alone. go visit loved ones once in a while. but other than that.. i will rather pretend eerything is rosy. bcos life sucks. plainly speaking.

its a shame to be in love.

an unusual thing for a tutor to do. but i actuali went to my students blog.
hais maybe its aguy thing but ok mabe not. its a teen thingy.
or maybe its part of groing up.
why life sucks.
iwas at my frens hse yest.. listentin to everyone and their description of their miserable lives.
sure some ppl tolerate better tahn others. som eppl choose. to be happy. som eppl soos say we can all choose.

but nah i dun thk we can.

my student is from vs. at the age where impressing acheivin and doin well an feel like hte world. when htings dun go our way it seem slike everything else has a problem we start faulting. and its gets viscious.

maybe we ar eall victims.
of socirty and its expectations. maybe its hormonal. maybe everyone thinks a yr 2 med student can alr diagnose dengue.

sigh boy there are stil so many failures to face. u cant be angry all ur lives. it consumes mroe than u know. tehre will be so many more dissaspointments in future.. for urself from ppl from werk sch family members.

but must rmb wherever u stand everything is not lost


i know that sayin more will not make anyone feel any better. nto unless iu lend u a drill to bore a hole thru ur skull.
but the fact is sadness and stressgets really chronic in life. and enough is never enough.

maybe u willbe bless with an attitude that says differntly
maybe u ll be able to see tat time heals eeverything and one day u see eeverything else that happen as a blessng

yeah maybe its a blessing in disguise kid.
becos if there is sth i learn
its that somethigs are just not meant to be.
I failed. 9:23 AM
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Saturday, July 7, 2007
bleagh i got a laggy net.
gasp its july. the long hols are closin in fast. i mean they are ending fast. haha closing in means they are just abt to begin.
an entire new bunch of juniors are comin in. a whole bunch of them to scare. haha right. they say ppl who scare others are truly scared themselves. ok lets not get all philosophical.

yeah its that mth agn.. lots of bdays.. just got back from hq;s hse..wow got a big crowd. and three cakes from three diff grps of ppl..haha its oni his twentieth bday la.. haha how grand will 21 be sia. haha
yeah but met the whole gang agn..the vs clique.. nice to see them..but everyone seems grumpy and sad. ok i m the oni ne on hols i guess.. everyone else is atech and all that.. hmm.. army daze..but soon enuff they will ord and get a hols three times longer than wad i have. seriously they shuld start plannin a good hols ..


anw i have resolved to just change my wallpaper regularly. its impossible to u know..chose the ultimate nice wallpaper..i have tons of kireina shashim.beautiful picts hais

precamp is over. time flies man. it really does esp when u re having fun. erm i mean not doing werk. not not having fun..aaiya
anyhow. yeah i cant wait to get my pay for this mth. as for now i m broke. but i thk payday shuld be handsome this mth. oops

oh and i gave away one out of three.. of my animal preserved in wine bottle. haha its pretty cool looking eh.

hitting the twos.
I failed. 9:45 AM
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Sunday, July 1, 2007
yay went to airport to see irene. haha she transistin in sg for one night..
haha hair really changes the way ppl look.. when ppl do things to their hair it makes u ..go.. wow ok thats a change.. haha
yeah and her hair is blonde. her laughter more infectious than ever. haha

i went blading yesterday. haha or rather learn blading.. haha was quite fun..yeah and had gd company. yeah well it be nice ifevery holiday i get to meet someone new and have new company haha..then i wun feel so lonely. but ecp was very crowded.. thk theere was some faculty bbq or sth..

my company doubted if i knew my way ard marine parade..wad an ass haha

ok i opened my mama patho.. it looks good really. i thk textboks are nice to read durin holidays and yeah full stop. bcos they can be read leisurely.

but nah i m not reading haha

right? shuldi watch transformer? shouldi cut myhair.. hais these are someof life toughest questions u know..

went running today.. not used to my new shoes yet.. but getting there..
been givin a lotof tuition.. my student haha i got two sec two students..same sch..but really different..one is like super hardwerkin..sigh he seem pretty upset thathe didnt make ip.. i really dunno what to say or how to comfort ppl when they are this down.

the other is a joker la.. haha

perhaps

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And I show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every word whispered we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
Never let it fall apart
Strangely I wish secretly
It will fall down while I'm asleep


If you don't know
Then you can't care
And I show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every word whispered we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

But we have not hit the ground
Doesn't mean we're not still falling, oh
I want fall down to pick you up
But shows you're too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every word whispered we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Everyday
With every word whispered we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
I failed. 8:06 AM
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