yay can blog at last been trying to but the server was down or sth over the last week. ok but now i cant rmb what i want to say.
so this is it. every moment on ur life goes thru the same ardous cycle. u come up with an idea. u anticipate u werk towards it. u doubt if u will ever get there.. but u do. and as u get older the whole anticipation thing fades. they say u get less excitable when u are older. probably true.
does that mean there is less to be happy about. less tolook forward to? oh its another xmas another bday another drag.
maybe im just a jealous monster. maybe i m never satisfied. like at first i told myself after passing pros i wun ask for more. then i see now that my grades feel pretty average. i thk life sucks all over agn. sigh ok stop i m really outdoing myself at being an asshole.
photographs always tel the truth. they show events that happen. but i wonder if they tell the truth abt the moods the emotions the feelngs.. or is everyone kust posing smiling bcos the camera man says cheeese b4 u.
i m leaving on a jet plane. dunno when i be back again. ok i do know lar sadly. one upon a time theere was a plane i wish i never got off.. and in the not so recent history i wished there was a plane i got on. now i dunno anymore.
sucks to be me.
but anyway yeah i m pretty excited abt the trips to come. munus is on fri after pdcp. actauli i like pdcp just not in the medical context u know. as in a lot of the stuff i studie b4.. its much more interesting when u read the real text abt id ego and superegoes.. rather than the la nus style of quote a few lines dump in a slide and then the prof gets all goofy.
but neertheless i haha sigh. havent written an essay in centuries. see my blog sentences re incoherent. oh no. i have half a mind to read up all my gp stuff.the other half is the true me then iguess. the mr. sloth.
yay icame up with my packing list. packed my heavy bag packed 40 percent. changd money. paid alot of money alr. looked up for accomodation. its gonna be excitin cos we havent booked any accomodations.. and t will getmore exciting if we experience an earth quake. thai laos bordr having earthquake now! ok not sth to be excited abt but its cool.
i told my tuition kids that my mum asked me not to die. they tht i was hilarious.
and there is phuket gay time with aloy. and i got my digicam..haha ok i m just rambling
fri to sunday i ll be at munus KL tues 22nd may to 18th june i ll be in cambodia vietnam laos thailand phuket that order maybe squweeze a diving trip when im back first week of july i ll be in sarawak.
yay!
i wanna go mexico.. go PANAMA! haha go cairo or go africa..but i guess they have to wait.
i wanna be in love. no wwait i think i alr am. t his is confusing . in the meantime losers likeme laugh at eevryone else. pathetic. yeeeeeeeeeeeeee
learing To Breathe
Hello, good morning, how you do? What makes Your rising sun so new? I could use a fresh beginning too All of my regrets are nothing new So this is the way that I say I need You This is the way that I'm
(chorus) Learning to breathe I'm learning to crawl I'm finding that You and You alone Can break my fall I'm living again, awake and alive I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how you been? Yesterday left my head kicked in I never, never thought that I would fall like that Never knew that I could hurt this bad
So this is the way that I say I need You This is the way that I say I love You This is the way that I say I'm Yours This is the way, this is the way
cliques people groups gang. some invasive some pessimistic some hyper some loners.
we all need people as muchs we liek to say things like. .fnally ..or i always wanted t ohave time to myself. i m having allt he time to myself now. almost. and i kidna like it. jst drown in the mundaness of things.. be on auto pilot. bump from wall to wall place to place.. werk hrs after hrs.
well nto really spoderman was nice. and outin was fun to a certai nextent. outings alwasy are. ok i didnt go cable skii
i think spiderman is really human. and nice
and the hardest step is to first forgive urself how true.
ok i keep getti nspam in myemail. fix my kitchen cabinet?! ok.. erm why not
induced delusions. by psychiatry med
a husband is delusional. thinks his wife is cheating on him. keeps yelling at her. the wife suffers from schizophrenia. she blanks out alot frequently. induced delusions she starts to believe under the husband's incessant yelling that she is ineed cheatin on him. so at the psych ward they are teeated by the same doc the husband says that his wife is cheating on him.. he is pretty upset. the wife feels very sad and is convinced she is cheating on him..says she feels realyl sorr ybu t cannot help it. claims to have gone out with 30 men over the last week.
so poor thing right. no not the doctor.. the couple i mean.
never point to the windows and say u want to go out in a hosp too.. u might be mistaken and subsequently strapped to the bed and administered sedatives and depressants.
haha i m feeling pretty amused now. i figured out why my mac cant transfer files into a hard disk alr.. problem solved.. but too late argh.. haha spent one whole night to realsie what the problem was.. one whole crazy night at sim lim. with lim.
and i actuli shared all my ipod songs.. i m actuali quite protective over them haha i cant believe it man. btu then again not really... i alwys have a soft spot for ppl. liek the mutarbak seller in my vj canteen.. everytime she asks i ll buy from her.. like like so many egs.. i hate turnin ppl down.. which explains why my life is almost as screwed as it gets. i rmb my music tcha in psch said.. i cant please everyone kids.. i dun have to. i m not god.. if i pleased one person a day its gd enuff for me.. so u guys can go fight all u want..
ha lately i kinda rmb my p sch days alot.. or rather seem to be getti nalot of flashbacks.. psc h mind u.. idunno why oso. .they seem as clear as it was yest.
maybe its cos i m hanging ard alot of p sch kids lately. at the tuition center.. kids say the darnest things.. and this is true across all culturals. (oh oh now that its the hols i rely have lot more time to read stuff that i like.. its pretty cool its like the stuff that if i actuali studied i l lbe living i na box on london street in the next ten yrs.. but i might be happier.. i rmb flippin thru the prospectus.. i wanted to do anthropology psychology embryology genetics archaelogy history geog) haha the weirdes tcouses offered by the unis.. but anw.. i have time ot pusue my interest reading these books now.. humans are really cuktural inventors.. race has no bilogical basis.. all grps of ppl are nth but grps which invented different culture and stuff.. ok i thk ican talk for ages abt this topic.. haha cosi thk the history of humans.. is really cool.
kids in sg are no less adorable than kids anywhereelse u know. i dunno ppl who go ocip often come back sayin..oh my the children in nepal/ china / thailand. laos balh bkah are so adorable. .sg kids are spilt lessfrenly. .less warm violentaggressive overstressed
desensitised? haha nah they are prob right.. sg kids these days know so much but it doestnmean they interpret all the info correctly.. which is when they say the darnest things. but werkin from 9 to 9 at a tuitomncenter.. i come across closeto a hundred sighin kids positivel stressded.positively pulling tugging strands of hair out of their foreheads. and parents.. embarassin scldin their kids in front of everyone els.e. "yah lor he doesnt listen in class.. yah lor my youngest ah.. no hope nth like his elder bro/sis/dog/cat" adn there are kids who alr show signs of givin up..and there are many who i know will give up along the way ebven tho they are riing the wave of academic success for now. its a tough ladder to climb..
and i rmb.. so clearly.. i would come home every wed issit? when chn tcha return zuo wen.. i wil get caned at home.. 4/20 3. 20.. i mean i did my first yr of chn. my mum used to caned me.. i rmb i once screamed i rather eat the shit in the toilet bowl than do chinese. and irmb i really got whacked..
i rmb the first time in p 4.. i couldnt understand this maths i broke down becos i always aced math,.. i told my mum i will nev get it.. this is too hard.. i ll never thk of this.. yeah the negativity in me stemmed from a realyl young age i guess.. i rmb my mum caned me.. again told me that if u keep saying u cant of course u cant.. i was P4..
i used to deviese of ways to dispose the cane.. haha in the end i told my bro to cane me.. iwanted to understand pain to see if i can ovecome it. i tht if i could take the pain.. if i could undestand pain then it was the easier way out... like pain endurance trg.. haha so silly. but those are thts of a p 5 kid.. i thk i succeed ed i was nto afraid of the cane anymore.. everytime i got caned.. i wouldnt cry i would just blink ..if it was my dad i would even smile.. but i taste teh cane in the worse possible way and that was the end of it.
yeah i rmb alot.. and in thesecondary lower sec class.. u knwothe book abt hman history explains why humans are still very young as a species and far from producin a new species so to say,.mutationas in fiction.. cos no matter wad matign is kinda panmictic.. ok.. but anw there is awlyas something someone at some time which can remind u of someone from an older period.. i guess its cause of the gene pool that keeps recyclin..after all all humans come from africa. right a bit out of point here but not really as well..
sec on d and two guys are the funniest to watch, while many girls have developed and bloom into whoa.. the guys can vary so much. osme look really mature alr.. others are still baby fat.. kiddy and so on.. it funny dn the cliques that are formed inthe early stage almost necessary depend on the stage of puberty the guy alr is in... maybe its boy;s sch mechanics..
yeah gusy in lower sec are cutet,.hey are so cvaried. .asome are realyl still babies.. others are liek tryin to be the tough mean guys portrayed on television.
anw tonight was really amusing. i went to to timbre for the first time. and oh no. i ..accidetally drank. darn. and i tht it was ice lemon tea. but really not my fault. it was an awkward and amusing night by all standards.
i thk i complain too much for a guy. but this gender thing is not fair. strictly speaking i m no less human haha ha. so lets start feet is aching eyes are pain.. oh man be a man.
i thk it be so unfair if i get subs. thats one statement. its never fair for anyone. the poor kid who is struggling to do well so that he can please his parents. yeah yeah its not fair. i guess children in sg beat the rest of the world in math and science.. yeah yeah thats another statement. not that i m waging the laziness trump card which i believe to be quite not - the - case
alrite i m just a worrylot but what if what if i do get subs. i thk it will make me so depressed dejected i l lstart t odoubt everything.
and i should turn to prayers cast my worries unto HIM .. that will make so many ppl proud of me. but no buts.
indon was fine today. i guess i wouldnt do fantastic but its gd enuff for me. haha nick and his philosophy says lang and grades dun match i mean look at me my chn sucks but my grades dun say so..and my eng ..gdness ok the grades really dun tally. lang shuld be an interest thing says nick it shouldn be cast into horrendous war of grades.
so yeah it was fine. i dare to say i can speak and understand and read simple to med level of bahasa.. yeah
while playing the piano today well i dint really manage to play .. i mean i couldnt rmb so much it was like this whole memory sucked out of me.. ok fair enuff i oni learnt for three yrs.. i rushed the grades.. skipped many levels.. and never owned a piano to practice at home.. it so sad. imiss jap i miss piano i miss swimmin. i could go pursue them like mad now. but all i wanna really do like lifeng said is just t odo nth seat ard at home. ok thats what i have been doin really?
really? nah i have been werkin which is good.. i will feel less guilty spendin if i werk ..doesnt it werk that way?
damn i dropped my phone. memory card is not werkin sigh.
laundry will u please hurry.
this is sucha retarded entry. life is too calm now i reckon.. no waves. nowaves?